Freezing My Nuts Off

Dear squirrels,

This morning, as I hopped up out the bed and turned my swag on, I gazed outside the window of my dormitory common room to see that Mother Nature had graced us all with glorious weather.  Upon seeing this, a skip was added to my step.  I thought to myself “Hey mother nature, thanks for blessing us with this fantastic weather” and went off to complete the rest of my morning routine.  However, as I gaily pranced out of my room to proceed towards the bathroom, I had froze.  My prance had ceased and I was suddenly overcome by a draft of frosty, unwelcoming air that made my butt-cheeks clench so tight that I could’ve cracked any nut within the vicinity.  After I let out a blood-curdling shriek, I realized that I was betrayed, nay, backstabbed by Mother Nature herself.  See, Mother Nature is such a tease.  She seduces you with her looks of inviting sunshine and blue skies, but the moment you go out and try to immerse yourself in her embrace and frolic within her realm, you realize that she’s cold–ice cold.

So squirrels, be wary of the wily temptress that we have all come to know as Mother Nature.  She will do her best to tell you “no, it’s ok, don’t worry, the sun is shining, bask in all my glory”, but know that deep within her grasps she is a cold, cold force to be reckoned with.  Soon it will be time for all of us to hibernate for the winter, deep within our recluses of libraries and dorm rooms where we must sacrifice our social lives and study to appease Mother Nature.

But seriously, it’s really friggin’ cold outside.  Go put on a jacket or something.

xoxo–Gossip Squirrel

~ by gossipsquirrel on October 12, 2009.